BEHIND THE BENCH: The Ride Home

Moms and Dads,

Your player walks out of the rink, drops his equipment bag in the vehicle, and sits down. Before you've even left the parking lot, the questions start. How do you think you played? Did the coach say anything? What are we going to do now?

Those questions almost always come from a good place. You care about your son, you know what the opportunity meant to him, and you're trying to understand what happened. You might also be exhausted, anxious, or frustrated after watching him compete for days with almost no control over the outcome. Your instinct to ask isn't the problem; the timing usually is. The first available moment to talk about the camp isn't always the right one.

For many players, the ride home from a main camp, tryout, evaluation, or cut becomes a second evaluation. The first was run by coaches and scouts at the rink. The second begins in the vehicle, with the people he most needs reassurance from. By the time he sits down beside you, he may already be replaying every missed opportunity, bad decision, and uncomfortable conversation, and he doesn't need another person keeping score.

That doesn't mean pretending everything went well or avoiding honest conversation altogether. It means support and evaluation serve different purposes and don't have to happen at the same time. The first job is making sure your son knows his relationship with you hasn't changed, whether he made the team, got an offer, or left without any clear answers.

A simple line can do a lot of work here: "I'm proud of how you competed." "I know how much this mattered to you." "You don't have to talk about it right now, but I'm here when you're ready." You can ask what he needs from you without turning that question into a performance review, and you don't have to tell him he was the best player on the ice, or that the coaches got it wrong, to make clear you're on his side regardless of the result.

A 2025 study examined real, recorded conversations between parents and junior tennis players during the ride home from competition. It was a small study, and it focused on tennis rather than hockey, so it shouldn't be treated as a universal formula, but the pattern held up: parent-initiated performance reviews led players to resist, disengage, or give one-word answers, while conversations the players started, with parents following their lead, ran longer and stayed cooperative regardless of the result. USA Hockey's own guidance points the same direction, encouraging parents to let the player lead the ride home instead of revisiting decisions from the game. Research on athletes who have been cut from teams has found something similar: most want space immediately, but they also want to know their parents are still there once they're ready to talk, and being available isn't the same as pressing for answers.

Some players will want to talk before you've even left the lot. When that happens, follow his lead, and try to figure out what he's actually asking for before offering an opinion. He might want to vent, he might be confused by something a coach said, or he might genuinely want your take. One useful question: "Do you want me to listen, help you think it through, or give you my opinion?" It hands him some control over the conversation, keeps you from delivering an analysis nobody asked for, and still gives you room to speak honestly when your opinion is actually wanted.

If he doesn't want to talk, that silence isn't disrespect or proof he doesn't care. Players process these things differently. Some need to talk through every detail right away; others need food, sleep, or distance before they can put words to it. There's no rule that says wait exactly 24 hours, just wait until he's ready, while keeping an eye on any real response or registration deadlines.

Once things have settled, the real evaluation can start. What feedback did the coaches actually give? What did he learn about the level? Where did his game translate, and where did he struggle? Did the organization communicate clearly, and did the experience match what was promised before the family showed up? Is any follow-up required, and what's the realistic next step?

Those questions lead somewhere useful because they're about information and decisions, not blame. Be careful about telling your son what the coaches "must have been thinking." Unless someone from the organization actually said it, you're guessing, and it's hard for a player to learn from a story invented on an emotional ride home. Pointing out that another player got an offer or more attention won't help him understand his own performance any better, and blaming coaches, politics, or officiating might soften the disappointment for a minute while making it harder for him to see what he can actually control. Telling him the opportunity didn't matter that much won't land either, not when everyone in the car knows it did.

Hold off on the money, the travel, and the missed work, at least while the disappointment is still fresh. Those are legitimate concerns, and families invest a lot in this game, but your anxiety about the cost shouldn't become his burden on the ride home. There will be time to talk about whether another camp or opportunity makes sense, and that conversation goes better once everyone has real information and some distance from the moment.

Younger players will still need you heavily involved in decisions, communication, and logistics. As they get older and move deeper into junior hockey, that role should shift. You stay a trusted supporter, but he should increasingly own the job of requesting feedback, talking to teams, and figuring out his next step, and the ride home is one of the places where that shift either takes hold or gets undone.

You can't control the roster decision or how many spots were open, but you can control whether the person sitting next to you feels supported instead of interrogated, and sometimes the most important conversation of the weekend starts the moment you're willing to wait for him to begin it.

Keep your eyes on the road,

Mike

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Team USA dropped a 3-2 decision to Finland at the World Junior Summer Showcase despite goals from Ethan Wyttenbach and Sammy Nelson. Finland built a two-goal advantage before Nelson scored shorthanded in the third period to narrow the deficit. Harrison Boettiger made 15 saves, while the U.S. outshot Finland 36-18 but failed to convert on three power-play opportunities. Nelson earned U.S. Player of the Game honors as Team USA continued its evaluation of prospects for the upcoming IIHF World Junior Championship.

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New Hampshire head coach Mike Souza will lead the U.S. Collegiate Selects at the Spengler Cup, joined by Minnesota Duluth’s Scott Sandelin and Cornell’s Casey Jones as assistant coaches. Souza returns after helping the inaugural team reach the championship game, providing continuity and tournament experience. Sandelin brings three NCAA national titles and previous Spengler Cup participation, while Jones adds extensive ECAC coaching success. The roster will feature 25 student-athletes representing all six NCAA Division I conferences.

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The NCAA has appointed Jeff Fulton as national coordinator of men’s hockey officials, placing him in charge of recruitment, development, education, evaluation and selection for Division I and Division III officiating. Fulton brings more than 30 years of college hockey experience and previously served as the NCAA ice hockey secretary-rules editor. His priorities include communication, consistency, transparency and collaboration. He succeeds Frank Cole, who is stepping down after 27 years in the role.

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CHL-developed players make up 31 of Canada’s 32 selections for the World Junior Summer Showcase, representing 22 clubs across the WHL, OHL and QMJHL. The group includes every goaltender and defenceman, plus 17 forwards, with 28 NHL Draft picks and 13 first-round selections. Several invitees bring championship experience, including Memorial Cup, league and international gold-medal success. The showcase will help Hockey Canada evaluate prospects and shape its roster for the upcoming IIHF World Junior Championship.

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The USHL Fall Classic will bring all 16 member clubs to Chicago for their opening regular-season games at the expanded Blackhawks Ice Center. The five-day showcase will feature elite junior hockey, a youth tournament across four age groups and extensive exposure to NCAA and NHL scouts. Most games will take place at USG Arena, home of the Chicago Steel. The event is expected to attract more than 2,000 athletes while highlighting the USHL’s player-development pipeline and top North American prospects.

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Five OHL players have earned spots on the United States roster for the Hlinka Gretzky Cup: Ty Bergeron, Nolan Snyder, Michael Tang, Mason Courville and Gerry DiCunzolo. The 23-player American squad features 13 forwards, seven defencemen and three goaltenders, with several returning from international competition. Bergeron and Tang are preparing for their OHL debuts, while the defending champion United States enters the tournament seeking another title against top under-18 hockey prospects from Europe and Canada.

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Four WHL players will represent the United States at the Hlinka Gretzky Cup, including forwards Gavin Burcar, Brooks DeMars and Colin Grubb, plus goaltender Kaeden Tate. Burcar and DeMars bring full-season WHL experience, while Grubb is preparing to join Brandon after a productive prep campaign. Tate impressed during limited action with Kamloops. The defending champion U.S. Under-18 Men’s Select Team will compete against top international prospects while pursuing another gold medal.

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Six QMJHL players have earned invitations to Canada’s National Men’s Under-18 Summer Team camp ahead of the Hlinka-Gretzky Cup. The group includes Alexis Joseph, Malik L’Italien, Quinn Norman, Benjamin Veitch, Sam Berthiaume and Mathys Fortin. Joseph leads the contingent after a standout rookie season, while L’Italien ranked among the league’s top young scorers. The camp will help Hockey Canada finalize its roster as the national team pursues a return to the top of the podium.

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Several NAHL teams will enter the new season with new leadership behind the bench. Brian Sherry joins Odessa, Eric Ballard takes over Oklahoma, and former professional player Nathan Oystrick leads expansion club Houston. Andrew Howard assumes control of Wisconsin, while Sam Graham returns to the league with Minnesota. Adam Dauda becomes Danbury’s head coach and director of hockey operations. Each hire brings experience in player development, recruiting and leadership as clubs pursue stronger results and advancement opportunities.

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The NCDC has unveiled a 10-event schedule featuring showcases across the Midwest, Southeast and Florida, along with an All-Star gathering and the Dineen Cup Championship. Seven events will include both NCDC and USPHL Premier teams, while two showcases remain exclusive to the NCDC. The season-long circuit will give clubs multiple opportunities for competition, scouting exposure and player development before the league crowns its champion in New Jersey.

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Players and families, we want to hear from you. If there are any questions, concerns, or if you just want to have a conversation, please feel free to contact us directly. We want to hear from you. Good Luck and Great Hockey!

 

Thank you,

Team VHC

 

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